Friday, November 22, 2013

People Pretending Permanently.

Hi Hey Hello (: Ughh, haven't had time to update you for so long. Uni is really busy at the moment. This is probably the main reason for it, I am really sorry, but now, always when it comes to the month december, I have to start doing a lot for school. Exams are exactly after New Year's and I don't nessecarily wanna sit at home and study over vacation. 
So, here's a little and let's say a bit personal update of myself:

I mean you know. I question a lot. And when I say a lot, I actually mean a ton and maybe even more. I don’t usually mean it in a negative kind of way because sometimes you just wonder about something you don’t necessarily have any bad intentions by. But yes, maybe this time, it’s not quite positive, I have to admit. Or maybe I just see it that way, it’s all so relative, anyway. So, tonight is one of those nights that I’m home alone sitting in bed with my hot water bottle and some tea instead of having to be really busy doing some stuff for school. It’s ironic, that at times when I actually should be doing some important work, my mind tends to slip away and just thinks about stuff. Stuff. Stuff like “what would have felt it like growing up in another country? Who decides what’s right and what’s wrong? Or Is there any other more powerful reference number than time?” Well, today my mind suddenly came across people. Just people. Those, who are everywhere, who I’m surrounded by at public places or even sometimes even in privacy. People. Why would I think about people? What do I exactly mean by “thinking about people”? I mean you know, I never ever want to say I’m a great person, or that I’m perfect or anything like this. The thing is, I always try to act fairly, treat people the way I wanted to be treated in the given circumstances, be honest and say what I feel. I don’t get a bad conscience, because either I do what I think is right or I don’t do it at all.
So here’s what it is, I don’t literally hate people, I just can’t stand their superficiality, their choosing-words-carelessly-because they-don’t-bother-how-it-can-affect-others-acting. Why is it, that everyone wants to get treated right and they all want kindness and they want help and they want this and they want that. But when it comes to treating other people they think “so what, it’s their problem, not mine; I’m not obligated to help and this is none of my business […]” Yes, it’s true, it might not be exactly your business sometimes, but think about if you were in this situation, wouldn’t it make you happy when someone you don’t even know was there and helped you? If some stranger just came up to you and helped you collecting the money that just fell out of your wallet a second ago? It’s only little things but still, I’m sure you would be thankful! I don’t understand why everyone is so selfish and careless. It seems like everyone just wants to be the first, wants to do best, wants to succeed, the consequences for all participants does just not matter at all. People only decide for their own interest, this is sad. They can’t even be happy for someone else because of thinking “Why couldn’t I be that great?; Why couldn’t I achieve that goal; Why does she look so pretty, why her not me?” I’m just not a jealous person in general, all the people I love deserve the world and for those people I don’t know, I’m still happy when they are. Is life really an evil contest? Seriously, why do people rather want to hear beautiful lies than the ugly truth and what’s the point in lying anyway? Some people just have various characters in front of other people and this is not who they really are, but why are they all just pretending? Having a particular opinion one day and changing it the other because they realize it’s so much cooler to act like that in front of their oh so cool friends or whatever. Is it in style to not to be true to yourself? I really mean that. Being all nice to someone you actually don’t like and talk shit about when they leave the room, is this how you live values? It’s funny that people never practice what they preach. But at least they preach, so they seem to be a good person… but really, they are not. Not at all. Hey, it’s not about the words you are saying, it’s about acting that way! Ever thought about this? There are a thousand of different characters in the world and of course we can’t just be all the same but I think some values like truth and fairness, everyone will appreciate, everyone. I find it sad that one person pretends to have various characters because all they really have is no character. You can’t please everyone, stop that, it’s not possible. No one will judge you for having different opinions about people, all you gotta do is stay fair and try to be objective. Just because you don’t agree and have a different opinion about something doesn’t mean you can’t express yours out loud. What are you scared of? Getting laughed at? Getting judged? No, they won’t and if they do, they are not worth your time anyway!! 
I still try to believe the good in people and I always hope that in the very deep down they have good intentions, but unfortunately sometimes life proved me wrong. And I still wonder why that is. So, if you caught yourself telling a lie to someone, if you sometimes are jealous about something or talk shit about people you don’t have any right to, first think about if you would like to get treated that way! Be the kind of person you want to meet!

Lots of Love xx

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